Two Forks

Published on May 23rd, 2017

One of my favorite lunch places mislabels their plastic cutlery bins every day. Forks are reliably in the knife bin. Spoons are everywhere. One day, there were straws in the fork bin. They truly couldn't care less about this aspect of restaurant operation.

Compounding the problem, I don't really care that much either. If it bothered me more, I'd condition myself to examine the things I grabbed before hurriedly shoving them into a to-go bag. But I don't, so I just eat with whichever of six possible combinations that I draw that day. Knife-knife days are tricky, but mercifully rare.

Either because they stock more forks than knives or spoons, or by improbable fate, I've gotten the "double fork" combo the last three times that I've gone fishing for cutlery. This has gotten me used to eating food with two forks. It doesn't work well for every meal; I wouldn't recommend trying to rip apart steak with little fork claws like some over-imaginative child who just watched Jurassic Park. But when it does work (cakes, rice plates, peas, etc) it feels natural and beautiful.

I was curious about whether anyone else agreed with me, and stumbled across a Facebook page with just 18 likes, called "Eating Food With Two Forks." I'm now an engaged and impassioned member of this community of like-minded dining etiquette visionaries.

The point of this post is not to evangelize eating with two forks (that's for a longer post). Instead, I'm sharing this to inform everyone about a Facebook group that proves, once and for all, that there's a place for everyone in this great big word, no matter what sort of dumb little things make you happy.